This Is My Despair
by Atarashii Tanjou
Summary: A short, sad work that covers Akemi Homura's last epiphany and transformation into a witch.


_**This is my Despair**_

Akemi Homura startled awake, a gasp filling the silence. Confused, she took in the peaceful green of the meadow, the chair she sat upon, and the twin seat that was occupied. Pink filled her vision for an instant, before a shadow blocked the light. Madoka stood upon the white chair, her arms outstretched, almost as if she were posed on a crucifix.

"Madoka…?" Homura's voice trembled, surprising herself. What did she have to be afraid of? Madoka's face was set in a smile… and then, without preamble, she tipped off the side of our white chairs, falling towards the green pasture. Crying out desperately, Homura scrambled to reach her, a shadow detaching from her form, taking her glasses with it. Right before her fingers made contact with her friend, Madoka dissolved into a puddle of pastel pink, marring the smooth green of the grass with a messy splatter.

Homura simply sat there, her eyes haunted, as four tall, expressionless bespectacled mimics of her former self towered over her. A fist pounded into the ground, smashing the display in a splash of lavender. Akemi Homura pounded the ground continuously, each blow accompanied by a cry, until she collapsed forward, sobs tearing their way out of her chest. _I couldn't save you…_ Darkness swallowed the scene.

A masked figure in a psychedelic world gazed wordlessly down at its skeletal closed fist. " _So this is a witch…"_ The Witch's head tipped back, observing the sky of nothingness past the wide brim of her hat. The pedestal beneath the Witch collapsed into sand, and the Witch disappeared with the flow, landing and rising with silent dignity. Beneath her, a row of small soldiers rose to stand at attention, the sky above them opening into large, bleeding wounds.

" _All my emotions have come back to haunt me."_ The Witch watched as the figures in the false city swarmed below her, each one a clearly defined sliver of a forgotten, faded lifetime. " _I can't remember anything,"_ the Witch murmured, " _but glimmers of light and regret."_ A sturdy enclosure surrounded the Witch, but her manacled, skeletal hands burst through the wall like papier mache. The Witch's head tipped backwards, a thin red line appearing. " _Ah…"_ The top half of the Witch's head slid backwards, to be crushed beneath the weight of her foot. " _So this is…"_ Inside the last slivers of Akemi Homura's consciousness, a single window closed, the image of Madoka, smiling, trapped forever behind the pane of glass. " _...my despair."_

The Witch that had once been Akemi Homura was wrenched forward, her manacles tight on her wrists, her blue dress billowing. Spider lilies nestled in her hair, and tears fell from absent eyes. " _Madoka!"_ Loneliness, despair, and desperation echoed in Homulilly's Voice. The mourner birds cried as they circled the shackled Witch, spreading news of her everlasting execution. Her words carried far, and the last vestiges of anger, pain, and sorrow became mobile through the trailing ribbons of her gown, clawing at the ground as if to drag herself backwards. The spectral hands destroyed phantom buildings in her path, a trail of rubble and dust in her wake.

" _Thank you for coming all the way to a place like this."_ Homulilly cried out, her Voice reverberating and reaching to the edges of her world. The last piece of her consciousness took the form of a violet lizard, staring forlornly at the circular path the condemned Witch was forced to march, en route to an execution that she could never reach. The distant outcroppings of her world were rocky islands, floating in the nothingness of her captive emotions. The shimmering being spoke once more.

" _I'm sorry that I couldn't even say "goodbye" to you, in the end."_ A single tear fell from the closed lashes, before Akemi Homura disappeared.

 _ **A/N - So… Puella Magi Madoka Magica was one of the first anime I ever watched, and the Rebellion movie inspired me to do this work. The words that Homura and Homulilly speak are the English subtitles from the original Japanese voice actors, and it may be different from the English dub. I tried to capture the grief that Homura/Homulilly must have been feeling at that moment. If you have any advice for me, please review, and I will do my best to improve my next work! I may or may not continue this work, depending on the feedback that I receive. (If I get a lot of interest, I may make a series of memorable moments, both happy and sad, from the anime and movies.) In the meantime, thank you for taking the time to read this… it means a lot to me. :) Have a wonderful day/night, and I will see you all later. XOXOXOXO**_


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